There are some mysteries that simply can't be understood. That sounds much deeper and vague than I mean it. The mysteries that I am currently puzzled by are emotions, specifically the ones that are effected and influenced by small external forces. Like music. Like pictures. Faces. A certain beat. Those extra details that make you feel funny inside and speak to a certain part of you. Little cues that make you think for an extra second...
The other day I was bored. Caleb was still sleeping; I usually wake up before he does. So, I decided to do something quiet and browse on facebook. One thing lead to another, literally, and I was flooded by the faces of the past. A high school friends page lead to a high school acquaintance, that lead to some guy I knew somewhat, and a clique of girls that never talked to me, and a shy girl I thought had great potential. None of it was surprising, but I'll tell you what...it felt heavy and strange to see these people I kind of new in their present lives. The guy up to the same old tricks, one of the girls modelling scandalously, complete with a boob job, the others showing what they've got in their own amateur way, and the shy girl....what happened?...drinking, drugs, parties and the middle finger. She was so good, so clean, untouched with so much potential for great things. For a moment I looked at my own life. I too was a shy girl in those days and now I am a stretch from that and far from this girl, Mallory. At least in petty ways. Part of me thanks God so much for His love and His presence in my life. The other part is just amazed that I am not her. I could have been so easily, and of course, still can. All these pictures begin to feel heavy, like the world is starting to saturate into my human skin, like some darkness is rubbing on me and if I don't brush it off quickly enough, I too will be stained. I don't think this is frivolous rambling...I'll explain in a second.
Okay, music (and I understand this post is a little...everywhere. maybe a bit abstract; maybe not), it has the same effect, and maybe it's different for everyone, but there are certain songs, certain sounds, genres that speak into me some darkness. It's like the cadence is calling "come back to me, come back to those old days and old ways". I could taste the music waves, but there is the ever present reality of drowning. But these minor details, the little distractions begin to weigh up and call me out of where I want to be. Am I making any sense.
Alright, here it is. I think in our lives, our fallen lives, we are stuck in the constant struggle, a continual war, in which we choose sides. This is a war for our souls. The King wants to protect us and love us keep us in His kingdom, but we have to choose to be by His side. The opposition is cunning. He'll use all sorts of tricks to bait us, to invite us into the gutter and keep us there. Neon signs and pretty faces and hipster beats. Fine wines and smooth lines, anything to keep us drugged. The world is pretty. Pretty. Pretty. And he'll keep saying it til we believe that it's all we need...to stay wrapped up inside this pretty world.
Well, it's going to burn.
There is only one winner in this war and it's inevitable. You still have to choose a side. Lately I've been "feeling" the devil and he's up to his petty tricks, trying to bait me with his smooth demeanor and flashing lights. He's throwing out those details like a clever chess move, hoping I just walk into his trap. He wants me to fall and he wants to keep me. But he doesn't love me like the King. Makes me think of one thing:
Ephesians 6:10-20
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with the feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this is mind, be alert and always keep on praying for the saints. Pray also for me that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in Chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly as I should."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment