where I'm at

I'm working for the man, until I hear otherwise....then I'll work for some other man. Translation: I got a job at Wal-mart in the Deli department and will work there unless I get the job as the hospital cook. I find out tomorrow about that one. Until then, I'm deli Kelly.

Lately I've been wanting to cut my hair. I'm not talking a trim (of which, if anything, it desprately needs). But I've been thinking of chopping off many inches. I hope I can hold it off until I can acquire 10 inches to chop...for locks of love purposes.

I also have been wanting to get my tattoo again. I have for a long time now wanted a tattoo, and have not had the money or the will to get one. I've wanted the same design and have finally found a counterpart so that it can be symetrical. I originally wanted it on my back, but now I'm thinking feet, since I finally have two designs in mind. I'll sit on this and make sure I'm sure...and make sure I have the money.

Caleb and I are doing great. He has two more days working at the prison and then he is free! I'm so glad. No more night shift, no more sleeping in the day, no more reclusiveness due to schedule. And best of all, I get to sleep with my husband every night! I'm quite happy about how our little lives are working out. God is good.

Where have all the craftsmen gone?

Lately, I've been watching documentaries about food and health. This is a topic that greatly interestes me. There is so much to learn about food and how it directly effects our bodies...it's fascinating. Really, it's as fascinating as it is because we live in a culture of convenience. A great portion of the food people eat now-a-days is processed. Sometimes that is all they eat. Beyond this, most people don't even think about food and what it does when it goes down their throat. They don't think of the nutrients and benefits they are getting.....or the lack there of and damage they could be doing.

Again, we live in a culture of convenience. Blame the industrial age. There are products mass produced in bulk and processed til it's hardly deserving of the title "food". We consume more chemicals that we realize and we don't seem to care as long as it's easy, fast and affordable.

I am pressed to make the correlation between a food item and it's eater. We are a culture that is easy, fast and affordable. Or rather lazy, whiney and cheap. We are really losing something here...

Caleb and I have made a few decision based on the things that we have been learning and thoughts that have been brewing. First, we are staying away from processed food (spare a few ingredients, like chocolate chips for baking*see note). Second, we are limiting our intake of meat to only a couple of times a week, using other vegetarian sources of protien (this will in turn help our digestive system, as animal protien can be hard on the intestines and pancreas). Third, we will limit (basically eliminate) or use of refined sugars, relying on other natural sweeteners such as honey and agave nectar. Fourth, if we can buy a desired produce organically or locally we will do so. And fifth, I will be baking our own whole wheat multi-grain bread (free of corn fillers, preservatives and chemicals). I believe these changes will save us money, supply more energy and help our health overall tremendously.

*Note: there may be some processed foods still purchased, but only after a review of the ingredients. I encourage everyone to become familiar with the ingredients found in some products that you may not recognise. You may find there is something you wouldn't want in your body.

Also, it's important to keep yourself accountable. I am not opposed to a treat now and then that may not be super for you, but these things I eat seldom and sparingly. Know what goes into your body. Eat for your body and not just for your cravings or desires.

Now to talk about the last change (bread) and the actual reason I started this blog post. As I was driving home from my grocery venture today, I was listening to an interesting conversation about craftsmen on NPR. They were mentioning how the industrial age had really hurt the craftsman way of life. People stopped doing things with their own hands and machines stepped in. But there is something within us that wants to create and create something well for it's own purpose. I was thinking of how this correlated with my cooking and bread-making and how I'm excited to make it with my own hands. I'm hoping there is a revival of the craftsman in all of us. A desire to plant our own food and flowers, to cook our own meals from scratch, to build our own tables and spice racks, to sew our own clothes, to fix the toilet ourselves, to paint a picture, to knit a scarf... And when you enjoy these things, you enjoy them more because you know the work that went into them and you did it with your own hands. There is something exciting about that.

Anyway, that is what has been on my mind as of late. When I got home, I lifted all the groceries, with my own two hands up to the door of our apartment. On my way I got honked at by a couple of girls, one of which shouted to me "Lady, I love you, you're my hero."

Yes, I will lift these groceries. Yes, they are heavy and awkward, but I will do it for me and scrawny armed girls around the world....

...although, I could have done without the "Lady".

Just Brown

I think it's obvious that I am quite disappointed in our culture. I suppose when you gather any group of faulty humans together, you're going to get a big mess. Especially if they don't know Christ. Lately my disappointment has been directed at one topic in particular: vanity and self-esteem. You get so many mixed messages in this culture about how you are beautiful just the way you are, but then everything else is directed at changing who you are, or convincing you that you'd be better if only you had more [...] or were more [...]. It's everywhere you look and I'm not just saying the models and movies stars that are in all the magazines. Walk down an aisle in any store and you're bound to find things that would alter your appearance... make you more this or that. The fashion trends that cycle every season is only one example. It's amazing to see how people can really believe that somehow their life will be changed if only they had the latest style. As if wearing that shirt, or those boots will somehow make them more valuable and attractive. I'm really not being over critical....it's so easy to get sucked into this way of thinking when it's all around you. Then of course there are the other aisles in the stores. Makeup that promise to quadruple the length of your pathetic lashes, heighten the definition of your non-existent cheekbones, cover up the multitudes of flaws you so obviously have. Thank God makeup is here to make you a better version of you! Shampoo that promises to de-frizz, add volume, magnify highlights, lo-lights, and any other light, when really, they are all made of the same stuff. Whiten your teeth, rid yourself of cellulite, minimize wrinkles, get rid of those grays... It's disgusting.

I can't watch Hulu without seeing adds every three minutes for Latisse, a serum you apply to grow more longer, darker lashes. What a frivolous desire...they are lashes and add nothing to the well being of your life (especially when you take into account the side effects, all for the sake of a few more little hairs on your eye lids). Then there is Juvederm so you can get rid of your "facial parentheses". THEY ARE SMILE LINES. When you're old and have had a happy life, you should wear those "parentheses" as a medal. I can't help but notice how the spokesperson in the commercial looks as if she can't smile all the way. Botox, plastic surgery-- these things are so unnatural. Have you ever seen someone 50+ without any signs of their age? It's creepy.

Today, Caleb and I had a date day. We went to Columbia and had a tasty lunch/dinner, walked around downtown and saw a movie. There didn't seem to be too much playing so we saw the movie Surrogates. In this movie the majority of the worlds population lives their lives through their surrogate robots. They plug themselves in and experience life from the safety of their own homes. Their surrogates are the "best versions" of themselves. They are beautiful, sexy, flawless..... Of course, the hot blonde walking down the street is being run by a fat guy that hasn't showered in two months. Okay, spoiler, although entirely predictable.... in the end surrogacy is over and you see people stepping out of their houses and apartment in their real bodies, flaws and all. It's relieving to see humans and not robots, to see them in their robes and bed-head and scruffy unshaved faces... to see their big noses, wrinkles, and oddly proportioned bodies, because there is nothing odd about it. God made us different, and beautiful and in his image.

When we start chasing after something we don't have, thinking that something is going to complete us, we'll only be left unsatisfied. Looks and possessions are superficial and temporary and we are fools when we place them higher than they are. We are fools if we think we will be satisfied by anything aside from God and the truth that he loves us, sent his Son to die for us and that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made." God has made everything and to insult that, to desire these empty changes and modifications, is to insult the Creator.

All this having been said, I will confess I'm no stranger to these weaknesses. Looking in the mirror, I find myself occasionally dissatisfied. This is a mindset that I have been working on changing, and it's a matter of mastering every thought--not always the easiest task. But I am happy with who God has made me, inside and out, and I try to always remember that. I'm annoyed when a take some of the silly quizzes on Facebook, like What Famous Starlet are you?, or What is your hidden talent?, and they ask a question like what color your hair is and your options are something along the lines of sexy blonde, mysterious black, fiery red and just brown. I have straight brown hair...and I love it. I tried dying it once and I immediately dyed it back the next day. I love my brown hair, my big nose, my flat chest. This is how God made me. Just Kelly, and that is wonderful to Him. It's my prayer that others see the beauty that God has given them and not be jealous of others or think lowly of themselves, despite what the world may be telling them. After all, what is the world, but a bunch of other humans made by God, just like you.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well." -- Psalm 139:13-14